Body image and self-acceptance are struggles everyone faces at different points in life, whether during adolescence, puberty, or adulthood. These challenges can bring moments of self-doubt, but they also teach us important lessons about learning to love and embrace ourselves.
In this interview, I got the chance to speak with Kimora, a junior, who has been through a lot when it comes to her body image. From being told she was “too skinny” as a child to struggling with the pressure of societal standards, Kimora opens up about how these experiences affected her mental health and relationships. But through it all, she’s learned to embrace her body and love herself more each day. This conversation is a reminder of how hard it can be to accept ourselves, but also how important it is to surround ourselves with people who truly care and support us. Kimora’s journey shows that self-love is possible, even when things feel tough.
What moments in adolescence made you struggle most with body image?
For most of my life, I grew up as a skinny girl. I was always told I looked like a stick and needed to put some “meat” on my bones. It never used to bother me before. I liked the way I looked and I didn’t care what others had to say about it. That was until quarantine hit. During my 7th grade year, I noticed I started putting on weight, a lot. I didn’t really care at first but I realized that my thighs started getting bigger, and my face got fatter. I didn’t mind it because I’ve always wanted to gain weight since I was known for being skinny but then I kept gaining it. It got to a point where I’d be self conscious about what I wear, how I look to others, and whether or not I was getting made fun of. It took a toll on me because I stopped eating as much, I would only drink water and would try to eat at least once a day.
As time moved on, I learned to accept that my body is simply going to change as I get older. I started to embrace the way I look, though I was still a little insecure, but I slowly started to love my body again. I know there are many people out there who have or are going through body image problems and we are never alone. We just learn to embrace our bodies for what they are. No matter what other people think about us.
How did societal beauty standards influence how you saw yourself growing up?
I would always see on shows or on the internet how people love thick girls, girls who have a butt. As a young girl, I would always compare myself to how they looked and how I looked. The standards in society were very confusing growing up. If you weren’t thick, they would say you need to gain weight, but if you were skinny, they would comment on how you needed more meat on your body. It’s like no matter what figure you had, it wasn’t enough.
How did body image issues impact your relationships during your teen years?
Being self-conscious of my body led to me projecting negative emotions onto others. I would look at my friends who had a nice build and say, 'Wow, I wish I looked like you,' or 'I would kill for a body like yours.' I wasn’t a big girl, but I wasn’t skinny either. As I said before, growing up really skinny and then gaining weight all of a sudden was a scary experience. I was struggling to accept my new look. I would constantly make remarks like this on a daily basis, and it got to a point where certain friends distanced themselves from me. I started to notice and ask them about it. They told me that, although I’m a nice person, me constantly making comments about my body and comparing it to theirs made it seem like I was being an attention seeker. They said I was trying to make them feel bad because I had issues with my figure and trying to make them look 'bad.'
After that, I started to isolate myself from people. I lost some friends because I felt like anything I said would come off badly, so I’d rather not speak at all. As a young teen, that took a toll on my mental health, and I started to wonder if I was the problem. As time went on, I learned to find comfort in being by myself and not really caring to make friends anymore.
What helped you start overcoming negative body imagine, and who supported you?
It was my freshman year of high school. I was excited but also nervous. I was entering a whole different environment with people older than me who had way more experience. My first week at the school, I noticed a lot of plus-size females/males were very confident. They weren’t embarrassed to show their skin. They didn’t care if some people stared or if people made sly remarks about them. They kept their heads up and embraced their bodies for what they were.
I remember one day I found the courage to go up to this one girl. I don’t recall her name, but she was definitely one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Her energy was so refreshing and positive. I asked her how she learned to accept herself for who she truly is. She told me a story of how she used to get made fun of during her middle school years, and it really affected her. But along the way, she learned that no matter what you do, you can’t please anyone. People are gonna talk, make fun of you, try to embarrass you, but it’s what you choose to take from the outcome. She found happiness within herself, and that was all that mattered. Hearing that really touched something in me. From that day on, I started to truly embrace myself. I no longer hid my stomach when wearing crop tops. I didn’t care what others might say if they saw my stomach or if I wore a dress or not. It truly felt refreshing to not care what others might say. During these times, I had my best friends Jazmine, Layla, Damario, and Kayla—those I consider family—by my side. They never once made me feel like I wasn’t enough, and I am forever grateful to have such amazing people in my life.
What advice would you give to someone struggling with body image today?
Love yourself, embrace who you truly are, no matter what you think people around you might say. In this society, nothing you do will ever be good enough for everybody, and that’s okay. As long as you love yourself and don’t care about what others think. Surround yourself with people who truly want the best for you—people who bring out the best in you. Having people you love be there for you during hard times in your life is a different type of love.
In conclusion, the journey to self-acceptance and body image is a deeply personal experience that everyone goes through in their own way. While the path can be filled with challenges and moments of doubt, it ultimately teaches us the importance of self-love, embracing our uniqueness, and surrounding ourselves with people who support and uplift us. With time and growth, we can learn to accept and appreciate ourselves for who we truly are.
so beautiful kim🥹