Grief, Self-Esteem, and Toxic Relationships | Nala Smith's Mental Health Journey

In this interview, Nala Smith, a 12th grader at Hamilton West, shares a deeply personal story of resilience and growth. The challenges of depression, grief, and toxic relationships have shaped her perspective on mental health, teaching her the importance of self-awareness, empathy, and authentic connections. Despite immense loss and hardship, Nala has found strength in prioritizing her well-being and staying true to herself. Her journey is a powerful reminder that healing is a process, not a destination, and that even in the darkest moments, there is always hope for growth and empowerment.

Below are 5 questions I asked Nala, diving into her personal experiences and journey with mental health. We hope this article allows others who may be going through the same experience to know that life will get better and to always keep your head up.

1. How have your experiences with depression and grief shaped your perspective on mental health?

My experiences with depression and grief have taught me how important it is to prioritize mental health and seek help when needed. I’ve learned that healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have setbacks as long as you keep working toward progress. It’s also given me more empathy for others who may be struggling silently.

2. How has feeling misunderstood affected your self-esteem and relationships?

Feeling misunderstood has deeply impacted both my self-esteem and my relationships. It has led me to question my value, especially when those I expected to understand me, (family, friends, & teachers), were absent during my darkest times, such as while I was grieving & going through my depression in general. I had hoped for support , but I literally can count on one hand the number of people who truly showed up for me. This lack of understanding and support has caused a lot of my relationships to go downhill; I’ve distanced myself from certain family members and past friends because I felt like they didn’t care about my well-being or my feelings. While this has been painful, it’s also been a hard lesson in prioritizing authentic connections and letting go of relationships that don’t serve my well-being. Ultimately, I’ve learned to appreciate the small circle of people who genuinely love and support me for who I am.

3. What role has therapy or counseling played in managing your mental health?

Therapy and counseling have been crucial in helping me navigate my emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. My early years in therapy provided a foundation for self-awareness, and the SAC counselors I’ve spoken to have been a consistent support system. They’ve reminded me that I don’t have to face everything alone. I refer to the SAC counselor over at Grice and the one here at West as the two women who saved me.

4. How did losing your grandparents before graduation impact your school life and personal growth?

Losing my grandparents has been one of the hardest things I’ve faced, especially since they were my best friends. Despite me having my parents in my life, my grandparents played a huge role in raising me. Grieving made my school/social life more challenging, but it’s also pushed me to work harder to honor their memory. Yes, it has been extremely hard, but their loss has taught me resilience & strengthened my determination to succeed despite the pain. I truly believe I’ve grown a lot since my grandmother passed away last December. I thought since I no longer had either one of them, I would’ve completely lost myself & go a horrible route, but instead it pushed me to motivation , & telling myself to not give up. The one thing both of my grandparents told me since I was a little girl was , “We’re not going to be here forever, & we can be gone in a blink of an eye, but don’t let that push you away from your dreams.” “Never give up on your dreams & strive for greatness, no matter what.”

5. How did you rebuild your sense of self after a toxic relationship?

Rebuilding myself after that toxic relationship has been a long & ongoing process. I’ve always taken relationships seriously, so of course, it hurt deeply to go through that. To this day, I’m still working on rebuilding myself, but now that I’m a little older, my perspective has changed. I’m more focused on reconnecting with my passions and the things that really matter. Stepping back into my leadership roles, realizing that some things are just for the time being & not for the future, & leaning on the very few people in my support system for strength & encouragement. Ultimately, I’ve come to realize my worth, & made a commitment to prioritize my happiness and well-being above all else.

Do you have any last words? I started my period at 10, and living with dysmenorrhea has been a constant struggle. My periods are so painful that I can’t get out of bed, concentrate in class, often screaming in pain during the night, nausea, fatigue, any many more symptoms that comes with dysmenorrhea and nothing helps!! Not showers, heating pads, painkillers, or exercise, which are things that that are supposed to help. I’ve missed school, cheer practice, and work because of it, and my doctors have had to keep increasing my medication as my body grows resistant. My dad even refers to my periods as me being “sick” because of how debilitating they are. I know there are others out there dealing with the same thing, or even worse, and I truly hope they find answers because this can be such a heavy factor in depression, as it has been for me. The pain, frustration, and inability to cope have made this a battle that feels impossible at times.

Nala’s story is one of incredible strength, resilience, and self-discovery. Through her struggles with grief, depression, and the complexities of relationships, she has learned to navigate life's toughest challenges with grace and determination. Her willingness to share her journey offers a powerful reminder that we are never alone in our struggles and that healing often comes from the most unexpected places. Nala’s commitment to prioritize her well-being, honor her loved ones, and continue growing despite the pain is truly inspiring. Her story reminds us all to be kind to ourselves, to seek support when needed, and to never give up, no matter how difficult the road may seem.

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@laviish.nala