Alyssa, a junior, has always felt torn between her Puerto Rican heritage and the fact that she doesn’t speak Spanish. Growing up in a Hispanic family, she struggled with feeling disconnected from her culture, often wishing she could speak the language to better connect with her family and community. Despite the challenges, Alyssa’s deep love for her roots has pushed her to find other ways to embrace her identity and learn more about her heritage. Her journey is one of navigating the
emotional complexities of wanting to belong while feeling like an outsider at times.
In this interview, I asked Alyssa about her experiences growing up and feeling that disconnection. We gained insight into how this impact her life, feelings towards personal identity, and learning a language that was familiar, yet so confusing.
1. How did growing up in a Hispanic family without speaking Spanish shape your identity?
Growing up as a Puerto Rican without speaking Spanish was challenging. I often felt out of place, and it made me curious about language and culture. It was tough trying to communicate with family members who only spoke Spanish, which made me feel disconnected from my heritage. It pushed me to want to learn Spanish, but at times, it also made me feel like I wasn’t fully Puerto Rican.
2. Did you ever feel disconnected from your culture because of the language barrier?
Yes, definitely. The language barrier made me feel like I didn’t really know my own culture, and that was mentally difficult. I sometimes struggled with my identity because I hated feeling disconnected from the Hispanic community. I wished I had been raised speaking Spanish so I could communicate with my family and others, especially in situations where a translator was needed.
3. Were there challenges connecting with others in the Hispanic community due to not speaking Spanish?
There were a lot of challenges. I’ve been called "white-washed" and a “No Sabo” because I didn’t speak Spanish. No matter how hard I tried when I was younger, I often felt left out because of the language barrier. It hurt at times, especially when I didn’t understand why my ability to speak Spanish seemed to matter so much to others.
4. How did your family react to you not speaking Spanish? Did they encourage you to learn?
My family didn’t really say much about my lack of Spanish, so they didn’t make me feel out of place. But I could tell it bothered them sometimes, especially when we struggled to communicate. We did our best to get by, using gestures and simple phrases, but it was always a bit of a challenge.
5. How do you navigate the connection between language and culture in the Hispanic community without speaking Spanish?
I try to connect with my culture in other ways, like listening to more Spanish music and making an effort to learn the language. I’ve also tried to immerse myself in my heritage, visiting Puerto Rico to explore and experience the culture firsthand. I’m constantly working on improving my communication with my family, and it’s been a meaningful way to strengthen my connection to my roots.
Alyssa’s story shows that even when we feel disconnected from our roots, there are still ways to find a sense of belonging. Not speaking Spanish didn’t stop her from loving her Puerto Rican heritage, it made her want to learn more and connect in different ways. Her journey reminds us that culture isn’t just about language, but about the love and connection we have with our family and where we come from. No matter the challenges, the desire to stay connected to who we are always stays with us.
