Navigating Depression and Self-Love | Arielys Torres’ Mental Health Journey

Mental health is a complex and deeply personal journey, especially during adolescence—a time marked by significant emotional and social changes. I interviewed Arielys Torres, one of my closest friends since kindergarten. In this interview, we explore her experiences, who navigated the challenges of mental health during her formative years. From early feelings of numbness and the struggle for validation to discovering supportive relationships and effective coping strategies, Arielys' story sheds light on the importance of understanding and addressing mental health issues. We hope this article helps anyone who may be going through the same struggles or is in a tough spot in their life. Remember, you are never alone. There is always help. 

1. Can you share your early experiences with mental health, particularly during your adolescence, and how they shaped your view of yourself?

At first, I realized that I was viewing life as something that just doesn’t end. It was painful for me to get up every day, go to school, talk to people, go home, go to bed, and repeat. I viewed life itself as a task rather than something to live. Living life like that drained me, and I no longer wanted to keep doing it. It became harder to get up, then harder to eat, and then harder to socialize. I constantly felt numb, with a heavy heart.

2. How did your relationships with family and peers influence your feelings of stress and your mental health during high school?

Going into high school felt like my world and daily routine had completely changed. Once I sensed a change in my life, I felt like I was taking a breath of air after drowning for so long. But this made me crave happiness, so I sought the attention of boys and new friends. All I cared about was keeping those new people close, which made me lose sight of those who had my back since the beginning. I craved validation so much that none of that mattered to me at the time like it does now. While my parents were yelling at me to get good grades, I was trying to skip class and roam the halls as soon as someone called me out. I felt like I was everyone’s therapist, and I was so focused on everyone else’s mental health and happiness that I let mine fall into the shadows. No one cared enough to ask if I was okay, so I gaslighted myself into thinking I was fine.

3. What role do you think validation from others played in your emotional well-being, and how did it affect your behavior?

The need for validation grew from not feeling like I ever got it at home. I knew I was never the "easy" or "smart" kid, so I looked for validation elsewhere. This led me to do things that I wish I hadn’t done. Even in those moments, I knew they were wrong, but the need to feel loved was worth it to me. My happiness and daily mood depended entirely on how those around me were doing.

4. You mentioned a turning point in your sophomore year. What changes occurred during that time that helped you recognize and address your mental health struggles?

By mid-sophomore year, around April, I was back in therapy. Talking about how I felt to someone who had no idea of my past or looked to judge me helped me gain a clearer perspective on what was wrong and right. I learned through discussing my feelings and what was happening in my life at the time that the way I was living wasn’t right. It felt like I was living for other people. It took some time, but I made a change. I surrounded myself with different people and met really good friends who wanted me to be better for myself, not just for them. They recognized my pain and tried their best to help me rather than blame me or use me. Finding those supportive people made life feel less like a task and more like something to enjoy. Even after someone like that left my life, I still carry that feeling of self-worth and self-love, which proves my growth.

5. How has your understanding of depression evolved over the years, and what strategies have you found effective in managing it?

I’ve learned several ways to cope with my mental health. First, I tried online therapy, but I discovered that I preferred speaking face-to-face with someone who didn’t know me or anyone in my life because it felt safer. When that wasn’t available, venting to a close friend and asking for comfort or advice made a significant difference in how I handled depressive episodes. Writing things down also provided a different perspective on my situation, allowing me to reflect on how I was handling things and what I could do to improve my situation.

When I was upset and having an episode, I would resort to cutting to feel something rather than numbness or sadness. To prevent that, I started using a rubber band, flicking it on my wrist a few times to remind myself that harming myself wouldn’t make my situation better. Over time, I’ve come to realize that depression never truly goes away; you can only learn how to manage it in a way that feels comfortable and safe for you. Meditating and practicing affirmations have also given me a better view of myself.

I have a motivational quote app on my phone that genuinely helps me think about my daily choices and the thoughts I have when I'm upset, encouraging me to shift my mindset to be more positive. All I want is for people to know it’s okay to not be okay and to always reach out for help because, one way or another, you will receive it just by opening up and asking for it. Everyone goes through their challenges, and no battle is too small or too large.

The journey through mental health is often non-linear and fraught with challenges, but it can also lead to profound personal growth and understanding. Through therapy, supportive relationships, and self-reflection, Arielys Torres has learned valuable lessons about managing her mental health and recognizing her worth. Her experiences underscore the importance of reaching out for help and the power of connection in overcoming adversity. Ultimately, she hopes to inspire others to acknowledge their struggles and seek support, reminding us all that it’s okay to not be okay, and that no challenge is too small or too large to face together.

Reach Arielys Torres' Instagram:

Instagram:

@iluv.arimarie