Ale's Anxiety Journey: Recognizing and Managing

Today, we had the amazing oportunity to interview with Ale, a 12th grader who has experienced anxiety from a young age. In this interview, Ale shares her personal journey with anxiety, from the early signs she noticed as a child to how it has evolved as she’s grown older. We’ll also hear about the coping strategies that have worked for her and the valuable advice she has for anyone who is struggling with anxiety. Her story sheds light on the complexities of living with anxiety and the importance of understanding, support, and patience. Let's dive in and learn more from Ale's experiences.

1. When did you first notice you anxiety, an how did it affect you as a child?

   
   

As a child, the first time I noticed my anxiety was when my father dropped me off on my second day of second grade. I was so unbelievably anxious about being alone (meaning without my parents) at school that I shouted and cried for my dad to not leave me. My father has always been there for me, but I was so worked up and utterly terrified of being alone that I could not think logically about what was happening. The reality was that school would be over soon and I would get to see my family again in a few hours, but anxiety often does not let you grasp that. Even if you can think about the situation critically, you still end up second guessing yourself.

As a child my anxieties came in the form of different things: I was horrified of being without my parents when I was little; I hated being left alone at friends’ houses; I had irrational fears of paranormal things that kept me up at night; I was scared of getting sick; I had difficulties eating. Keep in mind this was over the course of several years, since I was about eight or so. Anxiety became a normal part of my day to day life, the discomfort, the unease, the stress all became second nature to me.

2. How has your anxiety changed as you've grown older?

   
   

Like I had mentioned, my anxiety came in waves most of the time. I would hyper-fixate over certain worries that eventually took over my daily life. When I had separation anxiety from my parents, I hated being dropped off at my friends’ houses even though I wanted to hang out with them. I only felt comfortable if my parents were there with me. When I was horrified of getting sick I would overthink every minor symptom for fear that I had somehow gotten terminally ill. My anxieties towards food are some of my most recent worries, though I am doing much better now. When it was worse, I feared that if I ate too much I would feel sick and throw up. This made it difficult to eat in general, but especially in public. The pandemic only made the issue worse, as going out became one of my anxieties for a period of time. Doctors usually asked if I had an eating disorder, but I never had issues with my self image, I was just scared of eating for some reason. 

3. What do you wish more people knew and understood about anxiety?

   
   

I wish more people understood that anxiety can adapt and mold to your current fears. Something you are worried about now can become intertwined with your anxiety and affect you. I wish people understood that anxiety is not just being scared in the way people are scared of bugs or horror movies; it is a fear that constantly sits in the back of your mind even though what causes you anxiety is not physically there. If you have friends with anxiety, be patient with them. I can assure you they likely feel bad about being so anxious all the time and it is certainly something difficult to overcome, especially if it is coupled with panic attacks and other symptoms. Anxiety is very elusive, so even though it may not make sense to you, keep in mind that it feels very real and can be very debilitating for those who experience it.

4. What coping strategies have helped you the most?

   
   

I think the biggest coping strategy that helps with my anxiety is stepping back when needed. It can feel embarrassing when you cannot participate in things because of anxiety, but pushing past your boundaries can do more harm than good. The biggest help for me was understanding that anxiety is not the end all be all; you don’t have to overcome all your worries at once. Stepping back and letting yourself feel better before moving forward will forever be more beneficial than throwing yourself into it all at once.

Additionally, talking to people I trust was super helpful with managing my anxiety. Letting those closest to me understand how I feel and explaining what they can do to help me in moments where my anxiety is too much to handle was life changing. In the past I felt like sharing my struggles and being vulnerable with others was not something I could do because anxiety, to me at the time, was a hush-hush topic. Now, I feel comfortable telling those I trust about the more private aspects of my anxiety, because it not only helps me feel more comfortable, but it can help them understand why anxiety can be tricky to navigate.

5. What advice would you give to someone struggling with anxiety?

   
   

My biggest advice for those with anxiety is give yourself some leeway. Convincing yourself that “you should be over this by now” and “it is not that big of a deal” can make it worse. Ignoring how you feel about a certain situation exacerbates the issue. Even if others might not think it’s a “big deal” it is to you, and frankly that is all that matters. Your anxiety is affecting you, so do not let others tell you to push it aside when you know in your heart it is not that simple. Additionally, if possible, (since I understand it is inaccessible to some) speaking to professionals can greatly improve your understanding of your anxiety and give you specific solutions to what you might be experiencing.

I know a common coping mechanism with anxiety is using your five senses: five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This helps in focusing on the present moment, instead of focusing on your anxious thoughts. Anxiety is certainly manageable with the right coping skills and support system! It may take some trial and error, but eventually you will have a plan that works best for you.

To wrap things up, Ale’s story shows us that anxiety is something people deal with in different ways, and it can change over time. From her early childhood fears to how she handles it now, her experiences remind us that it’s important to be patient with ourselves and others. Her advice on taking a step back when needed and talking to trusted people is really helpful. She also encourages people to be kind to themselves and not feel bad about having anxiety. Overall, Ale’s journey is a reminder that, while anxiety can be tough, it’s something we can manage with the right support and coping strategies.