Written by Elsy Deleon
High School Senior
At four years old, I was going bald due to alopecia. As a treatment option, I had the choice of either using a topical cream, which wasn’t guaranteed to help my hair grow back, or receiving injections in my scalp, which had a higher chance of stimulating hair growth. My mind was racing at the thought of being poked with thousands of needles.
I remember the room had very bright lights. My nerves grew as I heard the door open and saw the doctor wearing a long white coat and bright blue gloves. His hands felt like icicles as he touched my scalp, searching for bald spots. He then asked me if I was ready for the shots, and I hesitantly replied, "Yes," while tightly holding my mom’s hand.
I was told how brave I was because grown adults would sometimes walk out after just one shot. Not me. I persevered. It hurt, but in the end, I received lollipops as a reward. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of my health journey.
My dermatologist wrote a script for blood work to test my thyroid levels, since many young people with alopecia have thyroid issues. All I could think about was more needles as he handed my mom the script. The smell of alcohol filled the air. It was oddly comforting. Hugging my mom, I couldn't help but watch as the needle pierced my skin and my dark red blood filled three tubes. This time, I earned Disney princess stickers for being so well-behaved and brave.
Then we got the results: I have hypothyroidism. I didn’t understand what that meant. All I knew was that it meant more doctor’s appointments. I met with an endocrinologist who explained that with this condition, I would develop at a rapid pace, gain weight, and have difficulty losing it. To make matters worse, I was also going through puberty younger than most kids.
She explained I would need to take medication for the rest of my life and that I would be more prone to other health conditions. I was five years old, listening to all of this. I was terrified.
Growing up, I had to be strong not only for myself but for my parents too. I was often made fun of for being tall and overweight. My self-esteem was wrecked. As a result, I kept to myself and didn’t talk to many people. Even now, I talk to lots of people, but I’m not really close to them.
Moreover, I still get called names and judged by my appearance. Personally, I don’t let it get to me because I’m proud and confident in myself and how far I’ve come. It’s taken me a very long time to get to this point, but everything I’ve endured with my health has changed my perspective on life.
I’ve realized that living with an invisible condition can be incredibly hard, not just physically but mentally too. I choose kindness and focus on working hard toward my future goals. With everything I’ve been through, I make it a point to include everyone, no matter what, because you never know what someone else is going through. They might just need one person to show them kindness to change their perspective on life or on their situation.
I know I needed that person—and sometimes, I still do.
Instagram: @the.real.elsy
